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Exploring Womanhood > Tough Issues > Rape & Sexual Abuse
Date Rape Awareness
Important facts to know about date and acquaintance rape . . . whether you are male or female.
- Date rape is a power trip.
- Rapists aren't always strangers.
- Date rape is about power, control, and anger--not romance and passion. When someone you know--a date, boyfriend, or casual friend--forces you to have sex, it's still rape.
- Date rape is a serious crime. It's a betrayal of trust and can leave long-lasting emotional injuries.
Sexual stereotyping and how men and women talk to each other
- Although things are changing, society still frequently encourages men to be competitive and aggressive and teaches women to be passive and avoid confrontation.
- Men often misunderstand a woman's words and actions -- the "She said no, but she meant yes" excuse.
- Some people still believe that it's okay for a man to demand sex if he buys a woman dinner or gifts, and that it's not wrong for a man to rape a woman who previously had sex with him or other men.
As a Woman, You Can . . .
- Talk openly about sex, and keep talking as you get deeper into a relationship.
- Be careful not to let alcohol or other drugs decrease your ability to take care of yourself and make sensible decisions.
- Trust your gut feelings. If a place or the way he acts makes you nervous or uneasy, get out.
- Check out a first date or a blind date with friends. Insist on going to a public place like a movie, sporting event, or restaurant. Carry money for a phone call and taxi, or take your own car.
- Don't leave a party, concert, game, or other social occasion with someone you just met or don't know well.
- Take a look at the men around you and be wary of anyone who puts you down, or tries to control how you dress or your choice of friends.
As a Man, You Can . . .
- Ask yourself how sexual stereotypes affect your attitudes and actions toward women.
- Accept a woman's decision when she says "no." Don't see it as a challenge.
- Avoid clouding your judgment and understanding of what another person wants by using alcohol and other drugs.
- Realize that forcing a woman to have sex against her will is rape, a violent crime with serious consequences.
- Never be drawn into a gang rape -- at parties, fraternities, bars, or after sporting events.
- Seek counseling or a support group to help you deal with feelings of violence and aggression against women.
If Date Rape Happens to You . . .
Get help. Phone the police, a friend, a rape crisis center, a relative. Don't isolate yourself, don't feel guilty, and don't try to ignore it. It is a crime that should be reported. Rape by someone you know is a violation of your body and your trust. Get medical attention as soon as possible. Do not shower, wash, douche, or change your clothes. Valuable evidence could be destroyed. Get counseling to help deal with the emotional trauma caused by rape.
If It Happens to Someone You Know . . .
Believe her. Offer comfort and support. Go with her to the hospital, police station, or counseling center. Let her know she's not to blame.
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