The Christmas season is drawing near, as much as I try to fight it. I walk through the stores and hear kids telling their parents, "This is what I want for Christmas!" I see all the new toys on the shelf, and all the beautiful paper for wrapping. I think to myself, "I wish Seth was here!"

See, I should be a mommy enjoying her first Christmas with her son, but sadly, he is in heaven. He would be nearly 3 1/2 months old if he was born on his due date. He was born very premature in April instead. At Christmas it will 8 long months since I held my little boy. I miss my sweet angel so much everyday, but I am really dreading Christmas. I don't even want to have Christmas this year! If I hear no Christmas carols, see no lights, and open not a single present that is fine with me. I should be out shopping right now for Seth's' very first Christmas, not crying myself to sleep. I am also dreading family gatherings, because one very important person will be missing! My beautiful little angel, Seth! I am sure that no one else will speak his name, but I know that I am going to be upset. He is always my baby, no matter what! I am sure that every holiday and everyday as long as I live I am going to have this emptiness inside of me! I don't forget! I am looking forward to 2002 though and a chance to start fresh!

~ My Dear Sweet Baby Boy,

I love you and think of you each and every day. You are to me what no other will ever match. You will always be my one true wish. So beautiful and perfect in every way. Although I held you for only a short time, you are always in my arms and heart. Baby of mine I will never forget these wonderful memories of you! I can't wait to see you in Heaven!

XXXOOO
Mommy~

~ In special remembrance of my first son Seth Micheal, who was conceived a year ago this December. He was born April 29, 2001 at 20 weeks gestation. Although he was so very early, he fought hard for mommy. He fought for an hour and ten minutes before flying up to heaven. He weighed just 13oz and was 10 1/4" long, but perfect in every way. He is now my guardian angel.~