I don't
know that my parents ever realized the impact their divorce had on us
kids. The day they told us they would be splitting up was the hardest
day of my life. My world changed in ways that affected every part of
me, some good, some bad. If not for the incredible strength of my mother,
I am certain I would have lasting effects now, as an adult. But my mother
became a rock, a solid hunk of life-giving force that I clung onto through
my teenage years on into adulthood.
I admire
all single mothers whose dreams melt and whose passions disappear and
who must move forward alone. But my mother never let her dreams
or passions disappear, and she helped us build dreams of our own. She
taught us to understand that lives change. She taught us to accept,
understand and begin again when something failed. She showed us that
when something fails it doesn't mean that we ourselves failed. My mother
gave me lessons in how to remain flexible, make detours in life and
learn to forge new paths.
As
an adult, I've had many opportunities to test my mother's lessons and
have come out on top each time. I've dipped into the treasures she gave
each of us three kids and extracted what I've needed to pass through
life's storms. When families split up, it is vital that parents work
hard to continue to give their children special messages of love so
that they don't feel rejection. But in addition, parents will do best
to teach children how to face realities, feel them, deal with them,
heal and move forward. Sweeping harsh realities under the rug or ignoring
them will not afford the opportunity to feel and understand. I am forever
grateful to my mother for her honesty and compassion, love and committment
as a single parent.
