I have three sisters, and two best friends. I want a very small wedding party of no more than a maid of honor and one or two bridesmaids, but I'm not sure how to choose. My mother will have my head if my sisters are not in my wedding, but I've known my two friends since Kindergarten and Elementary school and we always planned our pretend weddings as each others attendants. How can I get out of making this choice?
Signed, Torn in Two
Dear Torn in Two,
Wow, that's a tough one! I can certainly understand your dilemma. However, as this is your wedding, you're going to have to decide this at some point, in some manner.
Is there a particular reason you want a smaller wedding party? Martha Stewart suggests that for every 35 - 50 guests there be one pair of attendants. How big is your wedding? The average wedding contains 3-4 pairs of attendants with some containing as many as 12! In this day and age you don't even have to have an even number of males and females. Though, if there are an uneven number of groomsmen, you could double up the girls, with one groomsman escorting a beautiful woman on each arm. I'll bet you'll even receive huge accolades from the guys for this fix!
Since you have five girls, and it is suggested that family always be considered before close friends, especially when family is local, depending on the ages of your sisters, maybe one could be a flower girl, or junior bridesmaid, or even your maid of honor and the rest could pair up with the guys. Or have your best friends participate in your wedding in another capacity, like by providing reading.
When all is said and done, the role of your attendants is to make your preparations easier, help you keep your sanity, and help you enjoy the process. You should make your choices based on their ability to do this. If they all fit the bill, perhaps finances will help make the choice easier. Will your wedding stretch their budgets too much, or your mother's if she has to pay for everything in triplicate (or more - if she's contributing to the cost of the wedding as well?)
If you don't want to include everyone and the choice is too overwhelming and you are dead set on 2 - 3 attendants, you can always let everyone know you're going to leave it to chance and do a coin toss or draw straws, because you don't want to have to make an impossible decision.
