Ask Allee ~ In-Laws can't pay for already planned wedding
Dear Allee,
My In-Laws-to-Be were supposed to pick up the bulk of our wedding costs, but they've run into some financial problems and have bowed out. With three months remaining until our wedding, it's way too late to cancel or postpone. What can we do? We cannot afford this without help.
Signed, Sunked
Dear Sunked,
Don't throw in the towel yet! Once you decide what your realistic wedding budget is, sit down with your groom to decide where you can scale down its size. The size of the wedding is the key determinant of the cost, so this is truly an important exercise. A smaller guest list will provide multiple benefits. Less food, servers, and space will be required. In fact, after paring down your list, you might find that a smaller location could be used. Don't stress, this could work in your favor. Contact your venue and inquire on the availability of a smaller room and see what the maximum occupancy is - if the smaller room is a good fit, you'll have a more accurate idea of how much smaller you need to make your guest list. Also, inquire as to whether a change of event time may decrease the cost of your venue. Facility management will probably be more inclined to work with you on scaling things down, knowing that you want to stay with them and are willing to switch to a smaller room instead of canceling the event and forfeiting your deposit. If a change in time/date will yield sufficient savings, remember to contact all vendors (including ceremony location) to determine if all of your vendors can accommodate you before committing.
Once the wedding has been resized, the other vendors who are directly affected will need to be contacted and coordinated: food preparation, servers, tables, rental items, florist, cake, etc. Sit down with each vendor and discuss budget changes and work together to get the budget down every place it can be managed. If possible, be prepared to d.i.y. (do it yourself) wherever possible, or scale back on quality - a little. Everything need not be "top of the line," very good is perfectly acceptable, and typically comes with a more affordable price tag.
You may also have to get creative if there is no way to scale down the wedding and cut costs. If deposits are in danger of being lost, ask your vendors if they will consider a substitute couple. This will free you from your vendor obligations, provide another couple with a desired venue or vendor and hopefully free up your deposits so you can secure more affordable vendors and plan a wedding closer to your budget. With only three months to go, this is risky, so tread carefully if you must find another couple to take your place. Make sure contracts are signed with either vendors or couple(s) to insure the timely return of your deposits, as you will need these funds to finance your revised, though no-less fabulous wedding. It sounds like you really want to make this happen, so I know you can do it!
