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Exploring Womanhood > Relationships > Articles

Seven Requirements to Look for in a Life Partner
by Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

Marriage is a long term and hopefully life-long endeavor. Because of this it is important that we take our time to find someone who is compatible with us on all levels. To really know who the best fit is for us, we must love ourselves deeply. If we have self-love and knowledge, this is what will help us make the wisest decision in a partner.

Seven Requirements to Look for In a Life-Partner:

1. Maturity: Maturity comes from someone really knowing who they are and what their limits are. This allows them to be clear in their relationships and often makes them better communicators. If someone has maturity it means they are psychologically healthy and have taken responsibility for who they are in life. They are flexible and firm in tandem.

2. Awareness of their emotional triggers: We all have issues experienced and accumulated from our pasts which have impacted us greatly as people. We want to be with someone who is aware of their core wounds and will be able to talk through them when they are triggered in the relationship. Having this kind of awareness helps us to set and respect the limits of the person we are with and we can communicate our needs just the same with them.

3. Financial Security: For a partnership to work it is best to have each person be independently financially secure. This way if one partner goes through a major financial change it doesn't impact the entire unit. When both people are equally secure then the partnership is mutually beneficial. It is important to work out the details around money before making a major decision like moving in together or getting married.

4. Laughter: Laughter is a healing elixir to have in a long term partnership. It is so easy to get lost in all the responsibilities in life thereby losing our laughter. Play together, get outside, go on dates, lighten the mood. Those who play together stay together. Nothing is sexier than a smile or being able to bring your partner into a better place emotionally.

5. Similar Philosophies: Whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually we must be sure we are choosing someone who lives by a similar philosophy and attitude with regards to life. These similarities bond us deeply because it is the common ground we can always fall softly into when we need that security and understanding.

6. Intimacy: Intimacy is not intercourse. We must be sure we are touching, sharing, cuddling, communicating and connecting with each other at all times. This has to be a person with whom we can be ourselves. This is the place to share all of our joys, our fears, failures, successes and interests. This is intimacy.

7. Chemistry: The easiest thing to lose in a long term partnership is the sexual life. This is the one place many people get lazy or it becomes too much work. To keep the chemistry alive we have to make sure our partner is committed to getting out on dates, getting out of a regular routine and away from all the responsibilities so both can remember how sexy the other is. We have to pick a partner who will romance us and be romanced by us in return so sex has a build-up and a seductive quality to it. Obligation sex doesn't inspire anyone to want more. If the chemistry is there in the beginning do not allow yourselves as a couple to lose it.

A long-term partnership can stay fresh and new as long as each person is committed to learning, growing and individuating in their own unique lives. This individual process gives us something new to share with our partner each day and this keeps the interest alive. We should never collapse ourselves fully into another person. We have to be our own person and allow our partner to be the same so the winds of love can dance between you both.

Lite Life Message: The first person you have to love and respect is yourself. With this you will be sure to pick an equal partner.

About the Author:
Sherrie Campbell PhDDr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed Psychologist with more than nineteen years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Click here to get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication. She is a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in Southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and to be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationship. For more information visit http://www.sherriecampbellphd.com.

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