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Exploring Womanhood > Mind, Body, and Soul > Articles

What's Really Stopping You?
by Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach, www.reallifecoach.com

We're all familiar with the cycle:
1. We want new, but resist change.
2. We want satisfaction, but procrastinate.
3. We want control, but defer to circumstance.

So, what's really stopping you?

A belief?
"I'm an incurable procrastinator, I'll probably be late to my own funeral. Beliefs like this dictate your thoughts, and your thoughts turn into action -- or in this case, inaction. Instead, consciously turn those thoughts -- or offhand comments -- into something that can help you, not hinder you. "I tend to be late with things, but I know if I prepare I can make it easier to be on time."

A habit?
While it seems too simple to actually have impact, success on any goal boils down to a good habit. If you eat well and exercise, you'll be successful with a healthy lifestyle. If you don't control your spending and put aside some for emergencies, you'll conversely end up with financial woes. Do you habits help you or hurt you?

Easier not to do?
This is probably the most common stopper. "Sure, I'd love to have my own business, but ---". Change is not easy. No matter how small a change, you will feel uncomfortable at some points. We all know this, and sometimes it's just easier to live with the 'familiar unhappiness' than to push through the inevitable uncomfortable feelings. Anticipate the feelings, and be ready to push through the change until it becomes a part of you.

Fear?
Are you a "What If?" thinker? This can paralyze if you always "what if" the negative. But "what if" you just did it anyway? What if you knew that if you were kind and giving some people would accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. What if you find happiness, and you notice that others are jealous and spiteful. Be happy anyway. What if you knew that the good that you do today will be easily forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

In a poem often attributed to Mother Teresa but actually written by a young man from Harvard, he says no matter the "what if", do it anyway.

Because you see, it's never been about what other people think of you. It's never been between you and them. It's what you think of yourself.

Stop the Cycle.
Do what is right for you. Do what you believe in. Do what you feel good about -- whether that's mopping the floor and raising toddlers, or going back to school, or writing that book at long last, or finally getting control over your life.

What's really stopping you?

Nothing!

Kathy Gates is a Professional Life Coach in Scottsdale AZ. If you liked this article, you'll love her "Beat the Procrastination Blues" program to help you find out what's really stopping you -- and more importantly get a grip on it! Get more information at her website Real Life Coach, http://www.reallifecoach.com/ and sign up for the newsletter while you're there.

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