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Exploring Womanhood > Mind, Body, and Soul > Articles

The Oppressed Soul
By Lindy Tefft, MS

Have you ever felt cast aside because you were not considered to be the "important one"? You hide those tears that well up in your eyes. That lump in your throat and knot in your stomach never seem to go away. You attend those business meetings where you are the only woman and you are expected to sit quietly because it is the "good ol boys club" and they feel that it is a privilege for you to even be there. You know in your heart and soul that you have so much to offer BUT, your husband, boyfriend, business partner etc. says "You are not the one they want, it's me." How many times can you be hushed up, told that you are not good enough, forced to take a secretarial role when you know you could be president and shoved in the back seat when you know you are the one that should be driving the car? Even those beautiful sunny days look cloudy as you robotically put one foot in front of the other and turn off your feelings and emotions just to survive.

I Married Mr. America--does that say enough? My years and years of oppression caused a severe depression, and I didn't realize how bad it really was until one morning, I was shocked to look in the mirror and see that I had Bell's Palsy. That was the beginning of a downward spiral into a severe nervous breakdown.

It was a long, lonely and very tedious get well process that lasted almost five years. Through so much searching, as the medical profession did not provide the answers, I finally began to understand what was really going on. I "survived" this oppression by stuffing my emotions to try to fit in which caused various physical problems through the years. I attracted this entire situation through the low self-esteem of a severely abused child. I was trained at a very young age to be a "servant" and kept this abusive pattern in my relationships. As I studied and researched further, I realized that part of my giving so much was the desire and need to be loved. It created co-dependent relationships that were totally unhealthy. Through a step by step layering off process I was slowly able to peek out from under all the "crap" that I was carrying for many, many years.

So you ask yourself in all the chaos, where do I start? It's actually simple . . . with pure honesty. Take off those hazy glasses. Look at your life not the way you wish it could be but the way it is right now. The power to change anything lies within you and the choices you make. The best choices come from being totally honest with yourself which will bring a sense of peace by relieving the stress of living a robotic life that is not in keeping with your innermost desires.

Life can get so complicated that any form of simplicity seems to go by the wayside. But, simplicity is what we all must strive towards and that simplicity lies in finding your own authenticity no matter what it takes. It all boils down to going back to the bare basics by undressing your soul. I can honestly say that even though I still have challenges as we all do, I luxuriate in the fact that I can honor myself as 'SIMPLY LINDY'.

Lindy Tefft

About the Author:
Lindy Tefft, MS belongs to the rare breed called survivors and wants to inspire those who want to create the life they so rightfully deserve. She is a published author of SOUL STRINGS (Your Fast Track to Soul Power) and her memoirs, I Married Mr. America. She was featured in the September 2012 Women of Worth online magazine. With a keen intuitive ability, she has helped many through the years to become their own best friend. Her personal goal is to inspire, educate, motivate, and actively participate in the "healing" of this planet in whatever way she can.

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