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Self-Care Minder

Exploring Womanhood > Mind, Body & Soul > Self-Care Minder

There Is No It
by Jennifer LoudenA coaching client was talking about her desire to find "it" - the "it" that would fulfill her life purpose, help her be of greatest service in the world, let her passion find full expression. I said, "But you've already got it. The question is, how do you want to express it?"

We breathed together, savoring the sweet, deep pool of stillness that swept over us: oh right, we already have "it."

We all know there is no "it" out there but the idea of "it" is so seductive, we forget. Me, I forget about a billion times each hour. When I get "it" done (cleaning the bathroom, email catch-up, putting Lil to bed), then I will be _____ (happy, relaxed, able to do what I really want). Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now writes, "But if your destination, or the steps you are going to take in the future, take up so much of your attention that they become more important to you than the step you are taking now, then you completely miss the journey's inner purpose, which has nothing to do with where you are going or what you are doing, but everything to do with how. It has nothing to do with future but everything to do with the quality of your consciousness at this moment."

Your quality of consciousness at this moment. That is the only "it" and it is available to us both right now. In this moment, we can have faith in our deepest experience - of this moment! We can let go of wanting to be somewhere else, to be someone else, let go of resisting, resisting, resisting... oh I feel myself fighting it even as I write this. I want to have this piece be brilliant and finished so I can go take a nap or go for a walk or do something I will supposedly enjoy more. I write that and I see how by resisting being here now robs me of pleasure, robs me of meaning -- because I love writing this newsletter. The idea that there is something better to be doing besides being in this moment, that is the giant gaping drain that sucks all the life out of anything, no matter how pleasurable.

When we are alive in this moment, we realize we don't have to do or learn or achieve anything. We only need come into this moment fully. Suddenly, perfectly, life becomes a shimmering globe of creative possibilities, a game, a lark. We become outrageously curious about simply expressing what is coming up in this moment.

Sound too good to be true? It is available to you right now.

Feel your back against whatever you are sitting on right now. Lean into it more fully. Allow it to support you. Feel the breath coming in and out of your body. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Simply exhale a little longer than you inhale. Ask, "Who am I in this moment?" Not tomorrow, not yesterday, not five minutes ago, not in thirty minutes. Who are you right now? Breathe and feel the answer - not in words, but in presence. Then ask yourself, "How do I want to express myself in this moment?" The right action, the right resource, the courage, the clarity, the next step will present itself when you need it, in this moment.

That includes understanding, more and more, that your outer expression of this moment never defines who you are. The who that you are is already fully expressed and perfect. Right now. The question is listening and returning to this moment, over and over, and letting the now guide you to your full expression.

Jennifer LoudenJennifer Louden is a best-selling author of The Woman's Comfort Book, The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life and three other titles. You can visit her popular website at ComfortQueen.com where over 600 articles about self-care, an interactive Inner Organizer, and a wonderful CQ store await you. Jennifer also works with a few clients at a time as a life coach.

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