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Self-Care Minder

Exploring Womanhood > Mind, Body & Soul > Self-Care Minder

The Pleasure of Transformation
by Jennifer Louden

I feel transformation in the air. Do you?

I hope this isn't me being an airy-fairy New Age Bobo, but something in me senses hope and change and new beginnings being born. Truly, it may be only that I am going through these changes (and such changes they are!) but I also see evidence (assertions in ontological coach talk) that the world is shifting. The image I keep get is of people sneaking looks at each other in line at the bank or sitting side by side in the stands of the baseball game, strangers locking eyes for a moment as if to say, "Yes, we are still here. Yes, we are the lucky ones. Now what will we do with our luck?"

Today, my transformation is being supported by a phrase I quoted in The Woman's Retreat Book: To be spiritual is to choose to do only those things that contribute healing and meaning to my life.

What would my life by like today if I chose to do only what contributes healing and meaning to my life?
What offer could I be to my family?
To my coaching clients?
To you, a reader and friend?

When I ask myself these questions, the first thing I want to do is weep. I want to weep for all the times I haven't asked myself. All the times I haven't considered myself blessed, all the times I haven't been present. I sob for the years lost to pushing myself to succeed, fueled by a sense of obligation, of wanting attention, and by the belief that "this is what it takes to be successful." I weep for a loved one who is dying of cancer, for his generation did not get to ask these questions, did not get the choices that we have fought for and been granted. I weep for the voice that comes into my head that says, "Who cares about your meaning and healing? Children are starving and bombs are dropping." But I know that voice, and my Comfort Queen bosses that voice right back, "Excuse me, please shut up NOW." I also weep for my feet of clay, for the humility inherent in needing to learn this lesson over and over again. (If you've read this newsletter for any length of time, this is not a new theme. In fact, you might be wondering, "Why does she keep writing about the same thing?" I humbly submit I seem to be a perpetual beginner in this realm.)

I ask myself again, "What would my life look like today if I choose to do only what contributes healing and meaning?"

Now what I'm drawn to do is breathe deeply, and gently let go. Let go of seeing life as an obligation, let go of the hanging on, the pushing, the managing, the control. Fall back into my sweet body that is always here and shout "YES!" YES to this pleasure and an honor of being alive. Oh Lordie, as my Grammy would say, thank you. I am so very grateful for these legs and eyes and hands, and for the changes of healing and loving that are coming into my life. YES!

I ask myself again, "What would my life look like today if I choose to do only what contributes healing and meaning?"

Baby steps. Leaps. Choice. I want to take baby steps and big soaring leaps to create my day, moment by moment, from this place. My heart blossoms open. How can choosing only meaning and healing for myself spill over to my daughter and my beloved husband? How can it lighten my coaching? Flow into my novel? Circle out to my community? Moment by moment, curious, I choose and wait and watch what wants to be revealed.

I invite you today to ask, "How can I choose to do only those things that contribute healing and meaning to my life?"

Here's to our transformation!

Copyright 2001 Jennifer Louden.
Please visit the Comfort Queen and subscribe to her Self-Care Minder newsletter.

Jennifer LoudenJennifer Louden is a best-selling author of The Woman's Comfort Book, The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life and three other titles. You can visit her popular website at ComfortQueen.com where over 600 articles about self-care, an interactive Inner Organizer, and a wonderful CQ store await you. Jennifer also works with a few clients at a time as a life coach.

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