by Dr. Santi Meunier, www.santimeunier.com
Fearless Living is for people who want to live out their dreams, not their fears. All of us are here living at this moment in time for a reason. For some of us the purpose of our lives is apparent. We know who we are and what we want to do and we do it. The majority of us, however, feel lost to one degree or another. We look at those other people with envy and awe. How is it that they are so clear and focused? What can we do to find our way when the only path we see is riddled with fear and confusion?
Before we can do anything to change our current state, we have to undo some common, self-defeating mental habits.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Our ego sets us up by doing this and it is a losing proposition. Judging our insides by someone else's outside appearances is like trying to determine what something tastes like by the way it looks. Sure that may work once in a while, but would anyone eat a coconut based on its "hairy" shell?
- Realize that no one gets a free ride in this life. We all have challenges and lessons to learn. If we are a good, diligent student we will gain not only knowledge, but self-esteem and happiness.
- Mind your own business. Many people are so busy focusing on what others "should" be doing that they ignore their own work. This is an avoidant pattern that has to stop. We can care about others, but let them do their own work.
- If we are overwhelmed by fear and self-judgment, recognize that those thoughts reinforce the very things we are trying to escape. Mental discipline is essential - one thought at a time.
- Stop operating on "should" and "have to". When life is full of "should" and "have to", our energy drains out of us. When fear has reached a point of immobilizing us we feel stuck and start to procrastinate, which over time creates a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
- Stop blaming yourself. Anyone can become overwhelmed with fear. It is what happens next that separates the fearful from the fearless. Staying overwhelmed cannot be an option. We alone are responsible for our lives.
Quick Tip: Ask to be a gentle observer. When you find yourself caught up in any of these thoughts, witness it and then release it. We can take back a thought at anytime. Don't just correct it, take it back. Example: "This job is killing me!" Realizing that is not what you want to create say, "I take that back. This job is difficult, show me how to better cope with what is put in front of me." Be still enough to receive any guidance that may come your way.
We strengthen what we focus on. Focusing on our fears creates more fear. Because we are all in a constant state of creating, both consciously and unconsciously, it is very important to pay attention to what our mind is doing. Mental discipline begins when we realize when we are focusing on our fears. We can then, "move a muscle to change a thought". Do something! Take an action to break the grip of the fear state.
Positive self-talk is very important as well. Listen to what we say to ourselves. Is this thought helpful or not helpful; positive or negative?
Breaking free from the grip of fear, and learning how to create what we want, instead of what we fear, is available to all of us.
- Make a decision. Is fear going to be in control of you, or are you going to be in control of your fear?
- Challenge the fear. Often we just let fear tell us what is true without ever questioning it. Start questioning the truth in what your fear is telling you.
- Do it anyway. Be afraid and do the right thing for yourself and your life. Then you will have less fear than before. The sure fire way to get more fear is to give into fear. It is like the Sesame Street cookie monster, It always want MORE!
The key is to begin. No one else can fill your place in the great scheme of things. Remember, the world needs you to succeed and to bring to it your unique contribution.
About the Author:
Author and speaker Dr. Santi Meunier is recognized for her unique style and her ground-breaking strategies for personal and professional growth. Her program, Practical Spirituality for Fearless Living has helped thousands to enrich their lives and realize their dreams. For more information visit www.SantiMeunier.com.