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Exploring Womanhood > Mind, Body, and Soul > Articles

10 Tips for Women to Get What They Deserve!
by Lisa Lockwood

Are you a woman who has it all? Are you doing what you love? Do you have outstanding personal relationships, super careers, amass lively peer groups and feel fit healthy and confident? If you are, Congratulations! If you're not and you'd like to be, here are 10 ways to get everything you deserve!

  1. Ask for what you want!
  2. Toughen Up!
  3. Stop Living in the Past!
  4. Don't Make Excuses
  5. Don't listen to people who tell you "It's Never Been Done Before"
  6. Ditch your negative peer group and surround yourself with motivated people
  7. Believe that you deserve what you are going for!
  8. Stop thinking "It's too much work"
  9. Tell yourself that you have what it takes
  10. Don't be afraid of change

#1 Ask for what you want!
Many women simply don't ask for what they want. Are you under the impression that it's not meant to be if you have to ask? Or do you believe proper etiquette prohibits you from asking and people should be able to know your needs? Frankly, it's all bunk. Whether you want the promotion, the man you're interested in to commit (hello Mr. Big) or the last piece of chocolate cake at the party, train yourself to speak up and ask for what you want.

#2 Toughen Up!
How you react to other people's perception of you will make or break you. Accept that everyone has an opinion and choose not to let it affect you. Your emotional state is controlled by only you. Buck up, turn the other cheek and dismiss what doesn't feel good.

#3 Stop Living in the Past!
Many women refuse to let go of their past. Do you take a negative event from your past and expect to get the same result in the future based on that experience? Only visit the past when reminiscing about positive experiences. Promise yourself to live in the now!

#4 Don't Make Excuses
When it's time to go for what you want, do you tell yourself a story that prevents you to take a step ahead? Stories like "I know someone else who tried to do that and it didn't work out." Or, I'm too young, too old or just not smart enough to pursue that dream?" Start every new venture with the mindset, "Everything is possible."

#5 Don't listen to people who tell you "It's Never Been Done Before"
Do you find that you often put your complete trust in the status quo? Do you believe if history, the public or the media says, "It can't be done," then think, why should I even try? The more you listen to it the more you'll believe in it. Remember, the largest rewards in life go to those who embrace the, "Never say never!" attitude.

#6 Ditch your negative peer group and surround yourself with motivated people
Close friends and family members can sometimes make it difficult to venture into unknown territory. Even with the best intentions, they might influence you to remain in a place where they feel most comfortable. Remember, your peers are comfortable with your present, your mentors are comfortable with your future. Surround yourself with the people who want more from you.

#7 Believe that you deserve what you are going for!
Are you one of those women who are often under the misconception that you haven't earned the right to have what you want? You tell yourself you're not deserving of the raise, the relationship or new dress because x, y and z. This is a sure-fire way to prevent you from getting exactly what you want. You are gifted with more talent and ability than you realize. Your job is to explore as many of those talents and abilities as possible in your lifetime and share them with the world! So, get working!

#8 Stop thinking "It's too much work"
Do you tell yourself that the work involved is not worth your time and effort? This is nothing more than a protection strategy. Throw away the excuses, do the work and decide after you've achieved it if it was worth it!

#9 Tell yourself that you have what it takes
Act as if you already have the skill, talent and know-how to pursue the thing you really want. How will you ever really know if you have what it takes until you try? Take immediate action, coupled with follow-through and the belief that you can achieve your outcome. Repeat the mantra, "I have what it takes!"

#10 Don't be afraid of change
Reinvention, transformation and change happens with or without us. How you drive your life's car, whether riding the brake, coasting along or punching the gas, you have the sole power to move toward what you want at the pace you decide. You can either cause your change quickly or slowly live with effect of it. Decide today that you will punch your gas pedal and live at cause. Then celebrate, congratulate yourself and be grateful knowing you're living your life by your design!

Lisa LockwoodAbout the Author:
Lisa Lockwood endured welfare beginnings and an abusive marriage to become a decorated soldier in Desert Storm, a police officer, undercover narcotics detective and the first female SWAT team member on her department's team. She documents her tale in Undercover Angel: From Beauty Queen to SWAT Team, her memoir, which is gaining national recognition. Lisa currently travels across the U.S. and Canada for speaking and media appearances and holds workshops and individual life coaching sessions. Visit her website: www.lisalockwood.com

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