Things have been absolutely crazy since I last wrote. I really thought that once this whole cancer mess was over, things would slowly just creep back to the way they used to be. That has not been the case. It has been about about a month since I finished my treatments.
About two weeks ago, I was at work. I teach first grade, and I was teaching my morning reading groups. My principal came to my door, and asked to see me in the hall. I could tell by his face that this was not a social visit. He explained that another county employee was in the office, and had just been diagnosed with breast cancer the day before. She was very upset, and he was hoping that I could talk to her about my experience. I knew her from working with her about eight years ago, but our paths had not crossed since then. I quickly went up to the office to talk with her, praying along the way that God would help me find the words to say.
I opened the office door ready to give her a big pep talk about how things were going to be fine, but the moment I saw the look of terror on her face, things changed. Instantly, I was transformed back to the day I found out. I felt the exact same emotions all over again, and we just looked at each other and started to cry. We hugged and cried for a good five minutes before we could say anything at all. This was so much harder than I thought it would be. Here I was supposed to help someone, and all I could do was relive my own emotions! I quickly "changed hats" and asked her some questions. I talked to her about the importance of getting a second opinion. I wrote her a list of things to do, and people to call. We talked for about 20 minutes, and then I had to get back to
class. She is going to be fine! Her cancer is even smaller than mine was, and her attitude is great! We have been keeping in contact regularly.
That afternoon, my assistant principal came to my door, and asked if we could talk. Once again, I could tell something was wrong. She explained that my former principal was also just diagnosed, with testicular cancer. She wanted to tell me that he was going to be calling me to talk about radiation. This was twice in one day! I cried again, and questioned why this keeps happening, all around me. I ended up going the next day to talk to him. His prognosis is excellent.
As draining as that emotional day was, I know that I was some hope to these people. I have learned that THAT is what this is all about. I have to share my experiences. As much as I would love to let it sink back into the depths of my memory, that will never happen. And maybe that's a good thing.
Copyright © 2001 Susan Lloyd. All rights reserved.
