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Entry #15 ~ February 6, 2003
~ Birth Day

Dear Charon,

He's here! Your little cousin Louis was born on January 28!

I was a bit worried about how you'd handle him at first, because I had to be away from you for his birth. My sister and brother-in-law (your Auntie Katy and Uncle Dave) asked me to be there to help as a birth partner. I felt so honored and excited to be asked to do this. I knew it would be one of the most incredible experiences in my life. But I also wondered how long it would take me away from you.

Well, I was separated from you for ten hours only, which is the longest we've ever been apart so far. (Aren't we lucky?) Grandma and Grandpa brought you to the hospital a few hours after Louis was born, and you marched right into that room as if you owned the place. You gave me the biggest smile, and I hugged you tight. "Where's baby Louis?" you asked us. We brought you over to where Katy was holding him. "I touch his head?" you asked. "Yes, gently," I said, and watched as you stroked his hair. You were so intrigued with this tiny creature.

The next day, you said, "I want to go to the hospital again! I want to see Louis!" "Oh honey," I explained, "Louis is going home with Katy and Dave today. We can see him later this week, okay?" "I want to go to the hospital now! I want to see Louis!" It took a bit of time to convince you that it would be a good idea to let the new family get settled in at home first. I've never seen you so excited about a kid.

Gramma Charon told me you found the hospital room by yourself. She told you the room Louis was in - "Three, two, eight," - and you went down the hall reading the numbers with her. "Free, two, free," you'd say. "Is that it?" she'd ask you. "No," you'd reply, and continue down the hall.

Gramma and Grampa babysat you again later that week. When I got home from my errands, they told me you all had been playing a special game. Gramma was Katy, Grampa was Dave, and you, of course, were Louis.

Now, I'd like to write for you the story of the birth of your little cousin. I remember that birth was such an intense experience for me; I was so focused on my body, doing the work of birthing you. It was really neat to be a less active participant this time. I learned so much about the process of birth, watching and helping your Auntie Katy go through it. Someday, I will sit down with you and tell you this whole story, in all of its detail.

Katy called me at about 6:30 the morning of the 28th. She sounded as she usually does - cheerful, confident, together. She gave me the details: She'd been having contractions all night, and they felt similar to menstrual cramps, but were coming every three to five minutes. At 6 a.m. her water broke. The baby was on the way, and I needed to meet them at the hospital now.

When I got there, at about 7:15, the midwife had just checked Katy, and told them she was dilated to four centimeters. They were still in the triage room, a tiny space mostly taken up by a bed Katy wasn't at all interested in. She was dealing with pretty strong contractions every 3 to 4 minutes. She stood during each contraction, leaning on the food tray table, and she liked to have Dave press his hands on her back, right above her hips. I watched her dealing with them, and felt a surge in my abdomen, some physical response to a memory of what had happened to me there a few years before. I took some deep, quiet breaths, and reminded myself that I was here for Katy and Dave, to help them calmly through this. It was hard to see Katy, my little sister, in pain, but as I watched, I noticed she was handling the contractions very well, considering the circumstances. Knowing she couldn't really settle in here was, I'm sure, distracting to her. After four or five contractions, I asked, "Should I go ask when we're moving?" "Yes!" Katy said.

The nurses at the desk ignored me when I approached. I waited for a break in their conversation - they were discussing patients and important things - and then asked when my sister could be moved. "We'll be moving her shortly," one nurse told me, briefly, and then completely disengaged from our contact. I took another deep breath, hoping our nurse would be easier to communicate with.

In a few minutes, Lorinda came to bring us to the birthing room. I told her that Katy's contractions were very regular and pretty intense. "Looks like she's into active labor," Lorinda said. Katy got through the walk there, telling us when she needed to stop to deal with a contraction. Lorinda was hard to read; she didn't explain much unless we asked, and seemed to be very focused on "doing her job," i.e. getting the external monitor ready, filling out forms with them, etc. Both Katy and Dave dealt with this very well, Katy by stopping her when she needed to, with no guilt, and Dave by being his personable self, visiting a bit with Lorinda and making sure he was pronouncing her name correctly. I remember Katy asking her, "Will you be my nurse today?" and Lorinda answering with a flustered yes, as if she were a little embarrassed that she hadn't officially introduced herself to us.

I asked Lorinda how often they would need to monitor the baby during labor. "I know you already did a strip when they were in triage. Do you need to do another one now that she's moved to a different room?" Lorinda explained that, because Katy's water showed some light meconium, the baby would need to be monitored now for quite a bit, and then checked again quite often. She told us that she could monitor baby best when Katy's abdomen was in a certain position, which we quickly learned meant reclining or lying down for Katy, neither of which was comfortable during a contraction. She obliged for a few to get a good read on baby, and then we had her move back to her favorite position, leaning over something with Dave's or my hands pressed against her lower back.

Dave was so proud of Katy. He seemed very at ease, and exuded a confidence in her that I'm sure she felt. He knew she could do this, and he kept telling her so. He was beaming. I was confident, too, as long as no one told her she'd have to recline throughout her whole labor!

Soon their midwife, Kaisa, appeared. Positive and vibrant, she, too, let Katy know through her words and actions that she believed Katy would get through the birth process just fine. "Katy, this is the day you've been waiting for!" she said, thrilled for both the mama- and papa-to-be. "You can do this, Katy. Your body was made to do this." I remembered that when I arrived, Katy had excitedly told me that Kaisa, her favorite in the group of eight midwives they'd been seeing, would be on duty starting at 8 in the morning. She was so happy to know that this young woman would most likely be the one to help her through her labor, and to deliver (or catch, as many midwives like to say) their baby. I found out later that she is 30 years old and unmarried, with no children. "You don't meet many eligible men in my profession," she joked.

After a bit, Lorinda came into the room explaining that she would try to put Katy on a transistor-type monitor, called a telemetry unit, so that Katy could move around the room, and even take a bath if she liked. "Great!" I exclaimed. "That would be wonderful!" "I'm not sure if I can get this to work, though," she qualified. "I've never done it before, and I need to find someone who has." Well then, we'll figure it out, I thought. I knew Katy would have a harder time if she had to be constantly connected to the huge machine that was planted solidly next to the hospital bed.

Soon, Dave and Katy located the birth plan they had written, or "Birth Wish List" as they called it, and they shared it with the hospital staff. They wanted to avoid meds, if possible, and Katy asked that she be the only one to mention them. At this point, Katy seemed to be handling the contractions really well, as long as she could move into a position that felt comfortable for her. So far, so good.

Kaisa gave Katy a few positions to try that would help to move baby around and down the birth canal, and to be positioned correctly for the birth. Katy got on the birth ball, which was pretty painful at first, and then seemed to do okay there. Kaisa explained that each time she shifted to a new position, it would probably be uncomfortable at first, and then feel much better as her body settled into the pose. She rocked slowly from side to side on the ball while Dave supported her back in the spots she liked best.

After half an hour or so, Katy tried a lunge, putting her foot up on the bench seat by the window and leaning into Dave or me. She did a few lunges to each side, enjoying the view out the window in between contractions. Their little one would be born on a snowy day, one of the first this season, which is quite rare for Minnesota, as we often have several feet of snow on the ground by January. The dark branches of the trees stood out in the sky, and as the snowflakes fell, they gently laced the branches with white. The ground had a soft, bright cover. Mother Nature was dressing up, getting ready to celebrate this Birth Day with us.

Lorinda soon gave me a bit of a scare. "You haven't peed yet, Katy. That means you will probably need to get an IV soon. You need to pee very soon, but it looks to me like we're going to need an IV here." We got Katy some water, concerned because an IV meant being attached to something rather cumbersome again. A few minutes later, Kaisa came in again, giving the news in a much different way: "Katy, we're going to remind you to keep drinking your water. You aren't going to need an IV because we're going to keep helping you to remember to stay hydrated. Don't worry; I know if we help you here, you'll pee soon." Oh, thank goodness for Kaisa, I thought!

Katy had been throwing up throughout the morning, and she was very hesitant to drink water because of it. It just didn't sound good to her. But Kaisa had said that the water might actually help her stomach to settle down, and it did!

Katy decided to try a bath at around ten o'clock. Lorinda ran one that was just the right temperature, and Katy slowly made her way to the bathroom and then into the tub between contractions. I could see that she was getting very uncomfortable now, and was probably starting to worry, wondering how much worse labor might feel as the day went on. Her contractions seemed to be coming more quickly now, although I wasn't timing them; there was no time to pay attention to the clock. We were all just focused on helping Katy through each one.

Before she got into the tub, she peed, and while on the toilet, she acted like she wanted to push. She did it again with the first contraction after she got into the tub. I wasn't sure if Katy noticed the little force she was putting into the beginning of those contractions; I didn't want to tell her my suspicions and get her hopes up. So I made sure she was comfy with Dave in the tub, and then went back into the room to tell Kaisa I thought the urge to push might be coming. Was it okay for her to push a bit like that? And did it mean that she could be close to ready for the pushing stage? "That's definitely possible," Kaisa said. "It's fine for her to do that, so don't worry. I'll check her when she gets out of the tub, around eleven or so."

To be continued. :)

Love,
Mom