"As you make your way
through a sexual lifetime, cultural attitudes about what it means
to be a woman and a mother are bound to influence or even inhibit
how you express yourself sexually. Let your experience be your
teacher, let your desires be your guide, and keep in mind that
both of these will be in constant flux throughout your life. Sometimes
you'll crave a three minute orgasm, sometimes you'll orchestrate
a three-hour symphony, and sometimes you'll want no genital activity
at all. What you yearn for today won't necessarily be what you
yearn for tomorrow, but each and every one of your desires has
something to teach you about who you are and who you're becoming"
- Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, authors of The
Mother's Guide to Sex
Exploring Womanhood's Intimacy Questions with Anne Semans & Cathy Winks
Authors of The Mother's Guide to Sex
Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of Motherhood
Our guests discuss the need to slow down with sex
while pregnant. Women's bodies change and that change can have an effect
on both partners.
Question:
I'm halfway through my pregnancy and sex has changed so much for my
husband and me. He says that I "feel" different, and he seems reach
orgasm so fast now. I'm feeling sexual and I need intimacy with him.
Do you have suggestions? This is so hard for me because he's done and
I'm still ready to go. What are we doing wrong?
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Anne and Cathy:
Rest assured you aren't doing anything wrong! Remember that your body
is undergoing a major transformation and there's no "right" way to navigate
this terrain; everybody finds their own way. Although I can't quite
tell what your husband means when he says you "feel" different, I assume
he's having a positive reaction sexually since he's coming faster than
usual. This sounds like he's enjoying your changing body--you're
wetter than usual, your genitals are pulsating with extra blood and
your breasts are growing--he probably finds this a major turn-on!
That's a good thing. But you're the one who's living in the morphing
body and you need to articulate what feels good to you--tell him
you need to take it slow so you can understand, appreciate and enjoy
the ways your body is different now. Many women find they need more
sensual time, longer foreplay, or non-penetrative sex. Ask for what
you want, and you'll probably be surprised at how willing your husband
is to accommodate you. Pregnancy really offers a great opportunity to
explore sexual activities outside your usual routine, so let your imagination
and your body take you to new places. I found foot rubs and body massages
incredibly satisfying and erotic. I also found my clit took more stimulation,
but my dream life produced some of my hottest fantasies ever. The point
is, explore and experiment, but above all communicate!
All
this information and more can be found in the recently updated bestseller,
The
Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, written by Anne Semans and Cathy
Winks.
Questions were answered by authors Anne Semans and Cathy Winks,
and were chosen from those suggested by our readers. Perhaps your oncern
is one that is on every woman's mind! We invite you to read our
review of The
Mother's Guide to Sex, as well as additional reviews by our
staff located here.
A few words about the book from the authors can
be read here. Enjoy!
