This inquiry is a common one that opens the front door to those stores many women wonder about! Come on in...

Question: I have never been into a "sex shop" before, but my curiosity is causing me to visit one nearby. It's new, and it looks non-threatening with nothing in the window that would be in bad taste for kids to walk by and see. I'm getting up my nerve. So, what is in a sex shop? What should I be aware of? Are the salespeople there to actually be helpful? I'm afraid I'll be so embarrassed. What would I ever buy? I'm 32, married, two children, and this is NEW to me. Thank you ahead.

Anne and Cathy: First, congratulations on deciding to patronize a sex toy store—that's half the battle. You definitely owe it to yourself to satisfy your curiosity about the sex shop, because it might just change your life. I worked behind the counter of a sex toy store for ten years, and if I had a dollar for every person who came back and said, "Thank you, that vibrator changed my life," I'd be a rich woman. Sex toys facilitate sexual discovery, and that leads to better sex, which makes us all happy! If you approach the outing with a sense of adventure and limited expectations, you'll probably walk away with some fun toys to try at best or a good story to tell at worst. To answer a few of your questions:

1. Not all sex shops are the same. You might find a helpful staff and tasteful displays of erotic toys, or you may encounter a leery salesperson and walls adorned with silicone-enhanced nude porn stars. The former tend to have a boutique-like feel and are very comfortable, and you can expect a higher quality of service from them. However, the run-of-the-mill adult stores are still the norm.

2. What's in a sex shop? You'll probably find sex toys and adult videos. Sex toys are historically known as "marital aids" or "sex aids", and are things like vibrators, dildos, edible gels, penis sleeves, etc. Most stores also stock adult videos. More traditional adult stores carry a greater supply of videos than toys, but more of the boutique-type stores give toys more prominence.

3. "What would I ever buy?" That's kind of like looking at a menu and asking, "what would I ever order?" Think about what you like to do in bed, what you've always wanted to try, or what your partner might like to try. Maybe you like massage, so a warming oil would be a nice way to explore erotic massage. Maybe your girlfriend says her best orgasms come from a vibrator, so you want to try one of those. Maybe you like to watch your partner masturbate, so you'll get him a penis sleeve. Adult videos can be a great way to rev up your imagination and your libido, so consider renting or buying one and seeing what happens.

4. What to be aware of when shopping at an adult store. If you're buying toys, ask if any have warranties, or what the return policy is. If you're not sure what model to get, ask what sells the best or what the clerk recommends (this is true of videos too). If you're not sure, or you have an unhelpful clerk, do some homework—lots of web sites review adult toys and videos. If you're just not sure what toys to try, read our book, The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (Cleis Press, 2002), which offers tons of information on toys and technique, along with book and video suggestions. As for your embarrassment, remember that everyone who crosses that threshold is embarrassed. And the clerks have heard it all before, so don't worry about shocking or embarrassing them.

Good luck and go shopping! Even if your experience is a dud, it might give you some good ideas and the confidence or courage to try someplace better. Lots of online stores (like Libida.com) cater to women and present sex in a tasteful way.

All this information and more can be found in the recently updated bestseller, The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, written by Anne Semans and Cathy Winks.

Questions were answered by authors Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, and were chosen from those suggested by our readers. Perhaps your oncern is one that is on every woman's mind! We invite you to read our review of The Mother's Guide to Sex, as well as additional reviews by our staff located here. A few words about the book from the authors can be read here. Enjoy!