Two pregnant women, with similar concerns about sexual changes and their inability to achieve an orgasm, submitted their questions to Anne Semans and Cathy Winks:

Question: I am 27 weeks pregnant and still have a strong sexual desire for my husband. However for the last couple of months I can't seem to reach orgasm. My husband seems to be oblivious to this, and I don't want to hurt his feelings or his ego. I just seem to need a little bit more time with both foreplay and intercourse. This was never a problem with my first 2 pregnancies. Any suggestions?

Question: I'm 19 weeks pregnant and am really upset about the changes in my sex life! First, I am kind of tender all over, and intercourse has become uncomfortable unless my husband goes really slowly and is really careful. More frustrating yet, I have been unable to have an orgasm (which used to be easy for me) by any physical means (we have tried oral sex, a vibrator, and masturbation as well as intercourse) for probably close to two months. Instead I get a sort of unpleasant feeling of fullness. At the same time, since the beginning of the pregnancy I have been having frequent, vivid sex dreams and I sometimes think that I have come in my sleep. So what gives? Is there a physical reason why I'm not responding like I used to, or do you think it is just a psychological reaction to all my fears about becoming a first-time mother?

Anne and Cathy: Your body goes through huge changes during pregnancy, and these changes certainly affect your sexual responses. Pregnancy creates increased blood flow throughout your body, and by your second trimester, your genitals become engorged with pooling blood. Some women find that increased blood flow to their erectile tissues results in heightened arousal and more intense orgasms. Others find that as their pregnancy progresses, the increased blood flow can be frustrating. Their blood-engorged genital tissues remain in a state of semi-arousal that orgasm is insufficient to resolve (resolution can take even longer when this pregnancy is not your first). You may orgasm over and over again without achieving a sense of completion, or you may find the release of orgasm seemingly just beyond your reach.

By all means, communicate with your partner about the changes in your sexual response-after all, these are temporary changes that are beyond your control, so ego shouldn't be involved. It's normal for your responses to change with each pregnancy, and they'll change again postpartum. During pregnancy, there's no such thing as "just psychological reactions." Your emotional, hormonal, and physiological responses are all intertwined. Don't try to ignore or dismiss the changes you're going through-try to embrace them as part of your ongoing sexual evolution, and be patient with yourself.

Many pregnant women do report having highly arousing sex dreams and even reaching orgasm during their sleep. We'd encourage you to enjoy this unexpected bonus of pregnancy rather than comparing it unfavorably to your waking sex life.

All this information and more can be found in the recently updated bestseller, The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, written by Anne Semans and Cathy Winks.

Questions were answered by authors Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, and were chosen from those suggested by our readers. Perhaps your oncern is one that is on every woman's mind! We invite you to read our review of The Mother's Guide to Sex, as well as additional reviews by our staff located here. A few words about the book from the authors can be read here. Enjoy!