• WomensLaw.Org -
Information regarding state specific domestic violence laws, child custody issues, protection orders and other resources related to domestic violence in a particular state
Domestic Violence Discussion
with Jennifer Landhuis
11. Question: - My husband raped me 4 months ago. Is it too late to say something?
Answer: By "saying something" I assume you are asking if it is too late to report the incident to law enforcement. Each state has a statute of limitations in regard to sexual assault. Meaning, each state has a law regarding reporting the crime. I don't know what state you live in, but I can't think of any state that would have a statute of limitations of less than a year on a felony sexual assault. You should be well within your statute of limitations and it should not be too late to report the incident. Here is a link to sexual assault statute limitations. You should be able to access your state's specific statutes. Each state also has its own statute about what constitutes rape and what degree of sexual assault was committed according to what kind of penetration was involved and how old the victim and perpetrator were at the time of the incident.
I would highly encourage you to contact a rape crisis center close to you. They can walk you step by step through the process of reporting. There are several things I would like to discuss with you in regards to reporting.
My first recommendation is to always seek medical attention. Even though it has been several months since the incident, I always encourage sexual assault survivors to seek medical attention. In your case, since the perpetrator was your husband you may or may not have knowledge of his sexual history and whether or not you need to be concerned about sexually transmitted infections. For survivors who are assaulted by someone they do not have a relationship with, the reassurance of medical attention in regards to pregnancy and STIs can be beneficial.
Medical exams, if conducted following a sexual assault, may sometimes provide forensic evidence that can link the perpetrator to the crime or establish that an assault has occurred. Injuries in sexual assaults are very rare. There are rarely visible injuries in sexual assault cases due to the nature of that area of our body. It is rare to find scrapes, scratches, bruising or other signs of injury in the vaginal area. Injury is sometimes more prevalent if there was anal penetration. Forensic evidence (such as semen) can be collected for up to 72 hours following the assault. Victims of sexual assault are encouraged to seek medical attention as soon as possible following an assault in order to preserve this forensic evidence. Unfortunately, forensic evidence often is not gathered in sexual assault cases for several reasons. Perpetrators are often using condoms and thus leave no semen samples behind. Victims often feel so violated, their initial reaction is to get rid of their clothing and to bathe and evidence is washed away. Evidence can still be collected from washed clothing and for up to 72 hours following an assault so it is important for victims to keep this in mind. In your case, obviously, this evidence is likely no longer there. If you feel there may be injuries that would still be evident in an exam, I would encourage you to visit your medical provider and discuss this with them.
When law enforcement is taking a sexual assault report they have several questions that they want answered. The first is if you know who the perpetrator was and if you are in a "relationship" with that person. Sexual assaults that are perpetrated by a partner are much more difficult to prove in a court of law. They often come down to a "he said, she said" case and law enforcement and the prosecution will ask some very detailed questions. They will want to know if this is the first time this has happened. If it has happened before, why has it not been reported? Since you are reporting several months after the incident, why did you not report this sooner? (Please keep in mind that I am only trying to educate you on what to expect from them, not persuade you one way or another to report the incident. I firmly believe that survivors need to know what to expect in order to make a good decision on whether to report).
Survivors of marital sexual assault often feel they are being punished for being in a relationship with their perpetrator. There is often the mentality among society that "husband can't rape their wives." This, of course, is absolutely untrue but is still a very prevalent thought.
Your husband had absolutely no right to rape you, and I'm sorry that it happened. I worry about your continued safety as this often becomes a pattern of abuse and rape is just one of the forms of violence.
Please consider contacting your local domestic violence program and having an advocate accompany you should you decide to make a report. There is a lot of good information on the RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) website at www.rainn.org Please note that this will place a "cookie" on your browser and should be erased if you are worried about your husband tracking your internet usage. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline and can connect you to a local program. Their number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
