The Hard Questions 100 Essential Questions To Ask Before You Say "I Do" by Susan Piver
It sounds so simple, right? I love you forever and I do. But wait! With the divorce rates as they are in recent years, maybe we should be approaching this huge, life changing event with more than hearts and
flowers.
There
is a practical element to any contract, and a marriage is a legal
contract. It combines names, assets, lives and future fortunes so
it deserves some careful thought and decision making.
Susan
Piver has written a guide for the soon-to-be-wed entitled "the
hard questions - 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do."
In it, she lays out a list of important and business-like questions
that may be asked before agreeing to a lifetime joining of two lives.
Her suggestions range from the bedroom to the bank and from the nursery
to the workplace. While many young couples sit gazing into one another's
eyes (or in the case of some of the ladies, the clear and glittering
cut of her new diamond!), many others have practical and reasonable
questions to ask about many of the more day to day facets of a long
and happy marriage. Some of these questions may be difficult or awkward
to discuss or something that we would never have thought of while
caught up in a romantic haze. But, they are important all the same.
Here
are some good examples:
"Where
is our home?" pg. 33
"Do we keep money in joint or individual accounts?" pg. 43
"When, if ever, do we want to retire?" pg. 52
"How do we deal with the sexual expectations and needs of the other?"
pg. 59
"Are each of us happy with the other's approach to health?" pg. 68
"What place does the other's family play in our family life?" pg.
73
"Will we have children together? If so, when?" pg. 80
All
of the above are items which can be a source of stress in a marriage
and thus, the author's advice is to discuss, understand and accept
each other's views and expectations in these type of items prior to
committing to a life together.
Overall,
I found the book enlightening in this area and sensible. Couples planning
to marry may not need to answer every question in the book, but it
certainly does give you pause to consider the ramifications of a joining
of two into one.
